Dark Side

Dark Side

     Our dark side for empath's is more ugly then most normal people's are.  Mine came out tonight rearing it ugly face at a dear friend of mine.  How dare it?  How dare I?  Not pulling it back when I should have I know what damage it can do yet I let it lose.  What kind of person does that make me a human one but that is no excuse.Some was hurt and felt attacked by my dark side which I do not know why was born or when exactly but I am aware of it being there all too well.  I think it may have come from sensing the dark side in others and formed as a defense and weapon.  When feeling a truly dark person my dark side will come out hitting them right back with darkness and in truth not real sure if that is a true defense but it can help me not absorb their dark energy.  I used to absorb emotions of others all to well and not release at all which was not the smartest thing for me to do.  I tended to in the past not truly care about the consequence's of my dark side because I wanted others in as much pain as I was in.  Not very nice of me I know but sometimes the path takes over what is right and allows you to easily fall into the bad kind of darkness that ends up striking at those you care about the most.  The unknown realm of empath's is where I roam upon but I am more careful to not do harm.  However tonight I was careless for that I should scold myself and fell guilty as well as take the responsibility of hurting a dear friend.  Any time you mess with the paranormal gifts you should take every precaution never to do harm to another there is no excuse for it even for defense purpose's.

     Empath's life is filled with emotions of everyone you meet along with your own and sometimes can be so overwhelming you feel that you belong in a insane asylum.  Feeling their dark painful emotions take you into their world of pain for which as some never get out of.  I was lucky in the way that dark people didn't enter my life until my adult years when I was more mature to handle it.  I also got used to sensing emotions so much sometimes I can block out one's that are not major emotional storms.  But when coming in contact with grief that is something I can never get used to feeling.  It feels like a major violation to be because that is something private and should not be shared by a stranger.  Grief never truly ever goes away and we do start living again only with a hole where our loved had left behind.  I want to not sense the darkness of death coming for another that is something I also shall never get over.  Knowing that people die suffering is a horrid thing to feel and not being able to save them is madding at times.  I wanted to be normal for so long but now I am just wanting to be my and that means dealing with my dark side and the darkness of sensing death.  I may not like it but it is a part of whom I am.  I'm trying to turn that dark into light it is not always easy but I shall keep trying.